Monday's Joke of the Day:

Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code

2. Graphics arrive via FedEx

3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection

4. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it displays a week later

5. Your credit card expires while ordering online

6. ESPN Web site exhibits "Heisman Trophy Winner"...for 1989

7. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "PacMan"

8. Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump

9. You receive e-mails with stamps on them

10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.

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Bonus Joke:

10 commandments of email

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.

Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.

Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sendest it.

Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.

Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.

Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE ALL CAPS.

Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.

Thou shalt not use e-mail for any illegal or unethical purpose.

Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of e-mail, especially from work.

When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.

And, here's the "Golden Rule" of e-mail: That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.