Joke Of The Day

A study in England says that children universally dislike clowns. However, millions of Americans usually vote for one every four years.

The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.

What do you call a triceratops eating his evening meal?
A dinnersaur

Why are fish so smart?
Because they hang out in schools

What do computers eat for a snack?

What did one strand of DNA say to the other strand?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”

Rejection is all about who you no.

Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.

I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

The first law of advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.

I searched for the bluebird of happiness, but all I found was the chicken of despair.

Did you know that Cinderella was a lousy basketball player? What did you expect? She only had a PUMPKIN for a coach!

A Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you." So I didn't.

My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria. He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it’s working.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up

If a millionaire sits on his gold, who sits on silver?
The Lone Ranger.

How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon?
Only one if it was long enough

To find bargains, you need to go where the auction is.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

I’m a very good sculptor. In fact, I come from a long line of chiselers.

What is the preferred mode of transportation for priests?

On her vacation, the fortune teller turned into a site seer.

A new Olympic event for men who are thin on top is called the balderdash

The problem with your dad being a math teacher is he may not be willing to cosine a loan.

He's paranoid with an inferiority complex. He thinks the people out to get him lost interest.

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