Joke Of The Day

One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside.

When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department.

"We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When I persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough."

How do you know that?" I asked.

"Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said.

Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast.


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Bonus Joke:


I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio help callers with their home problems.

One woman called up hysterical after finding a skunk in her basement.

"Leave a trail of bread crumbs or cat food from your basement to your backyard," suggested the show's host. "That'll get rid of it."

An hour later the woman called back, even more upset. "Now I have two skunks in my basement!"

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Extra Bonus Joke:


A famous antiques collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He notices that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale."

The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."

The owner says "Sold." and he hands over the cat.

The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."

And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

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Extra Extra Bonus Joke:


"It is true that your cat had a litter?"

"Not really. She swallowed a ball of yarn and gave birth to a pair of mittens."

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